Losin' It

Salon.com featured a rather interesting article regarding the “shame” and “regret” many teen girls feel after losing their virginity, and it brought up an interesting point. “Would a girl feel quite as disappointed by her early sexual experience if it was seen as a triumph instead of a moral failure?”

I think not.

First of all, it should be made clear that losing one’s virginity is usually a horrible experience. It’s messy, painful and awkward. Now, I’m not saying that waiting until you meet Mr. Wonderful and having a special, romantic prelude with wine and roses and all sorts of storybook details of seduction isn’t going to improve the situation. I’m just saying that when it comes down to the actual act of first-time sex, it is rarely an occasion women look back upon with great joy and affection. Generally, it is something we’re glad to be done with. And, in my opinion, that first sexual experience should not be something regarded as sacred or special, for when it actually comes to pass, what woman isn’t going to be disappointed?

Rather than filling the heads of young girls with fairytale descriptions of “losing it,” we should be honest and straightforward about it. If they really understood all that comes with having one’s cherry popped, they’d probably be much more prudent about waiting until the right, sensitive and caring guy came along.

The article also discusses the peer pressure and fear of losing one’s boyfriend, as well as the addition of alcohol, as contributing factors to the regret that comes from premature de-flowering. The thing is, girls are just as sexually charged as boys. Ok, maybe they’re not as obsessed with it as those pre-pubescent boys whacking off 5 times a day, but still, they’re not repelled by the idea of it either. The problem is, it becomes highly romanticized and rarely does real sex turn out to be as great as what we imagine it will. Especially at that age.

I believe the solution to the problem is to deliver the straight dope while at the same time fortifying a girl’s self-assurance so that she doesn’t feel the need to give in to pressures just to please someone else. Teach her that sex can be a beautiful experience with the right person, but that the first time is likely to come with some less-than-fabulous experiences and so to choose the moment, the person wisely.

And above all, she should be aware that her first lover is most likely not going to be her “one and only,” and that sex just gets better with experience.

Support System

I believe that beauty is within every woman's reach. All she needs is a little style to enhance her god-given assets. But what happens when style requires a degree in engineering?

With the onset of summer-like weather, I have acquired a couple of cute and flirty, low-cut blouses which hang upon my shoulders by the thinnest of spaghetti straps. But due to their plunging necklines, these blouses don't work with my strapless bras. So, what's a girl to do?

1. Go "commando" and let those beautiful girls bounce and jiggle according to the earth's gravitational pull?

2. Invest in a set of bizarre silicone, stick-on bra cups that resemble a pair of skinless chicken breasts?

3. Go all out trailer-trash and just wear a regular bra and let the straps show?

4. Return the blouses and leave the shoulder-baring shirts to the pre-teens?

I am lucky enough to have a couple of perfectly perky silver screen-worthy duos, but too many outings without properly strapping them in will no doubt lead to a pair of less-than-spectacular twins down the road. So, I'm not so sure about going freestyle. But the chicken cutlets? I imagine stripping off my cute and flirty blouse for that special hottie-du-jour only to have him freak out at the sight of a pair of smooth, nipple-free breasts. And what about when you take them off? Are your breasts sticky from the residue, like after peeling off a band-aid? Still, that has to be better than the visible bra-strap scenario, right?

Well, I have yet to give up on my hunt for the perfect strapless bra which will support my lovely girls without peeping out from under my blouse. But since I plan on wearing these sexy, skimpy shirts on my trip to the Bahamas in exactly 3 weeks, I've got some serious shopping to do. So, exactly what the hell am I doing blogging?

The Right Pond

I was discussing my habit of finding unavailable or just plain unsuitable men with a friend today. Actually, I was talking about a certain person who recently made me less than happy and why doesn't he just grow up and be a man about things already, but that's another story. However, my confidant, after listening patiently to my whining for a good 20 minutes, said, "I think you're fishing in the wrong pond."

She's absolutely right. But damn if I can't find the right pond! Where is it? If you know, please tell me.

Ciao,
Lucie