More Mo'Nique!

So, I spent several hours this weekend curled up on my sofa with my cat, a cold drink and Mo'Nique. Oxygen was running a veritable Mo'Nique fest this weekend with the premier of her 2007 F.A.T. Chance Paris special. Because I actually did leave my couch to go out and socialize a few times, I kept missing bits of the whole special. (Luckily Oxygen aired it about 10 times over the weekend!)But yesterday, I finally had the opportunity to sit for the entire 2 hour special. It was FABULOUS!

Now, if you know Mo'Nique, you know she is indeed larger than life. Hilarious, beautiful, and big. And she's on a mission to make every big girl feel as beautiful as she really is. Mo'Nique selects a handful of women who came out to audition to be on her show and spends a week transforming then inside and out, teaching them to love every bit of themselves, fat rolls and all.

So ladies, no matter what size you are, you gotta know that you are beautiful. Embrace it, flaunt it, live it!

Ciao,
Lucie

Get a Grip

Ok. Generally, I avoid dishing about Hollywood celebs making asses of themselves because you can get all that info from TMZ.com and countless other sources. And even though I live in Hollywood, I am not celebrity-obsessed (as most of us locals aren't). But I just gotta say something about Lindsay Lohan. Can this girl go a week without getting arrested? I mean, really. She just got out of rehab, then turned herself in to the cops last week for a DUI, and last night she gets nabbed again - this time with coke in her pocket. For Christ's sake, everyone knows that when you're holding, you shouldn't go chasing your former assistant through the streets of Santa Monica in your SUV. You are just asking for trouble.

I know she's only 21. I was 21 once, too. And I was very wild in my 20s. We're talking major shit, here. Shit I really shouldn't have done. Shit that could have easily gotten me busted. But I managed to get through my 20s without a single arrest. Why? Because I kept my cool. And whenever I was too fucked up to drive, I got someone else to do the driving or I simply crashed wherever I was (sometimes in a parking lot if necessary)- something Lindsay and her pals should learn to do. By the time I hit 28, I'd gotten all that craziness out of my system and went on a 2 year detox where I did yoga daily and drank nothing but water. After that thorough cleansing of my spirit and my body, I was ready to party again - sensibly. Now I no longer pass out drunk in bathroom bars, wake up in strange beds (well almost never), or stick anything up my nose. And I gotta say, I like this kind of lifestyle much better. Knowing the last names of people I hang out with, remembering where I left my car, and not puking up my stomach lining every Friday night is actually pretty cool.

If Lindsay has seven more years of partying before she dries out, I hope that she can at least keep herself out of prison. But then again, I don't really care. If she's stupid enough to get arrested, then she deserves whatever she gets.

Ciao,
Lucie

My Wet Dream

Oh. My. God. Those were the words that ripped through my brain yesterday afternoon, sitting at the stoplight at Wilton Place and Hollywood Boulevard. The reason. A movie poster. A movie starring two of my faves. Jet Li and Jason Statham. Oh, holy cow, how I love these guys.

I know, I know. My heart truly belongs to Johnny Depp, but every once in a while, I find myself craving someone a little more...manly. I have long since been a fan of Jet Li's, easily wowed by his megastar martial arts abilities, but even more impressed by his achievements as a mere human being, overcoming a disability and prejudice to get where he is today. And Jason Statham? Well, he's pretty much the only bald guy out there that truly pops my cork. So, putting these guys in a film together is like my fantasies coming to life. Well, I guess my real fantasy would be that these guys are beating down my door asking me for a date, but I'll take what I can get.

Mmmmm. Can't wait 'til it hits the big screen!

No One Likes a Nag

Have you seen or heard the ads for 1-800-Dentist lately? I’ve always hated their commercials simply because they’re just so awful, but their latest is really and truly irritating.

Do we really need some fleshy-faced, white bred, middle-aged nerd nagging us about going to the dentist? I don’t know about you, but my dental hygienist nags me plenty. I don’t need some corn-fed geek coming through my radio or on my TV to do it, too!

And why does the owner or president of the company or whoever he is insist on doing his own commercials? Why not put some stunning, beefy guy with a killer grin in the ad? At least then I wouldn’t be so turned off as to switch off the TV or change the radio station.

I used to work in advertising, so I do know a bit about creating good ads. And the number one rule was not to irritate the consumer. I don’t know who the ad agency is for this company, but they should all be forced to sit through a mouthful of root canals for subjecting us to this nagging and whining.

Sheesh!

Paris at Night

Perhaps I have Paris on the brain because one of my friends is currently over there teaching French, the lucky girl. She even invited me to visit her. Oh, how I wish I could have gone. But being out of commission for the past two weeks and still not quite up to 100% means jetting off to Paris is just out of the question.

However, I did manage to visit Paris in my dreams. Uh, except the Paris in my dream was not the famed French city, but the famed felon, Paris Hilton. I could not care less about this no-talent, vapid toothpick, but in my dream we were apparently great friends. She invited me to go on a two month cruise with her on her fabulous Yacht, and as much as I desperately wanted to join her, I couldn't go because of work. Can you believe that? Even in my freaking dreams, I'm responsible! Why couldn't I have just ditched work and hopped aboard for what surely would have been heaps more fun than sitting at my desk and typing up boring research papers?

What has happened to Lucie?! Apparently being sick does more than zap you physically. It also makes you boring! Yikes!

Laid Up

Please forgive my internet absence of late. I have been under the weather and out of sorts for over a week now. And I can't think of any worse way to spend one's time in a heat wave. Instead of romping on the beach, splashing in the cool waves of the Pacific Ocean, I've been lying flat on my back with two fans pointed directly at me while I watch movie after movie. At the beginning, this sounded a bit like a little piece of heaven. No work, no demands. Just indulging in frequent naps and lots of movies. But boy, does it get boring after a couple of days. Luckily, I've had some fabulous friends stop by to keep me entertained. That is, while I'm able to stay awake. I haven't been able to watch a single film in one sitting (lying) because twenty minutes into them, and I'm fast asleep. But I guess I need the rest, so I shouldn't complain.

I should be back up to speed in a week or so. And I promise to get back to posting something more interesting than my sleep habits!

Ciao,
Lucie